This years binge resulted in a few batches of sorbet (like this Simple Cantaloupe Sorbet), a straightforward mango ice cream (for Eugene, who prefers his ice creams straightforward), and this very NOT straightforward Mango Saffron Ginger Ice Cream for myself.

I've always loved the taste of saffron in sweets. It's the flavor base for one of my favorite cakes (this Blackberry Saffron Almond Cake) and also shows up in a bunch of other desserts on here (like this Saffron Walnut Cake and this Chocolate Chip Fig Cake). It's musky and floral and works beautifully with fruit. Whenever I serve something with saffron in it, I find that people don't always know immediately what the flavor is, but they (generally!) enjoy it.

This would be a lovely dinner party dessert, either on its own or paired with a thick slice of olive oil cake.

Note that you DO need an ice cream maker for this recipe, but it doesn't have to be anything fancy. I've been using this same inexpensive ice cream maker for years and it's still my fave!

• Honey Milk Ice Cream
• Passion Fruit Sorbet
• Strawberry Chocolate Chip Sorbet
• Kiwi Sorbet
• Honey Lavender Ice Cream

 
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Thanks so much for reading!

Mango Saffron Ginger Ice Cream
Makes about 1 quart

Ingredients
4 very ripe mangoes
1 1/4 cups heavy cream
1/2 cup whole milk
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1/2 teaspoon saffron threads
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
1" knob fresh ginger, peeled

Directions
Peel the mangoes, and cut the fruit into large chunks.

In a small saucepan over low heat, combine the cream, milk, sugar, and saffron, and cook, stirring occasionally until the sugar is dissolved.  Remove from heat and let cool completely to room temperature.

In a blender, combine the cooled cream mixture with the diced mangoes, salt, and the ginger, and puree 3-5 minutes, until smooth.

Place a fine mesh sieve over a large bowl and strain mango puree through to remove any fibers or solids. Discard the solids and pour the strained puree into your ice cream maker.  Freeze according to manufacturers instructions. Transfer to an air-tight container and freeze for an additional 4 hours before serving.

Source: http://www.alwaysorderdessert.com/2018/08/mango-saffron-ginger-ice-cream.html

“Decaffeinated coffee is like a hooker who only wants to cuddle.” Like many quotes on Instagram, this one is styled in a cutesy sans serif font and has the beigeness of a black-and-white image that’s been reposted and refiltered dozens of times over. Below it are the hashtags #CaffeineAddict, #WorkingMomLife, and the clincher, #DeathBeforeDecaf.

It’s on the more offensive end of a spectrum made up of thousands of coffee-related quotes on Instagram that imply the poster would rather literally die before drinking a morning beverage that didn’t contain caffeine. They range from the cutesy (“But first, coffee”) to the self-deprecating (“I’m sorry for what I said before I had my coffee”) to the vaguely threatening (“I drink coffee for your protection” or “Coffee: a magical substance that turns ‘leave me alone or die’ into ‘good morning, honey!’”).

There are coffee memes for moms, coffee memes for CrossFitters, for entrepreneurs, even ones for multilevel marketers. Scrolling through coffee hashtags on Instagram, you begin to suspect that the entire world is being held together with a single substance, that America actually does run on Dunkin’.

And it does, to an extent — 64 percent of Americans drink coffee every day, according to the National Coffee Association, and 87 percent regularly consume caffeine. People love coffee; we love it so much that many of us are using it as a stand-in for an online persona, or at least implying it’s the only reason we get anything done.

Perhaps that’s true. Caffeine, of course, is a stimulant; it makes us feel more present, more positive, and more awake. But caffeine is still a drug, an addictive one, and these are scary words. And in an era when scary-sounding words are anathema to what’s considered “healthy” eating, and where the disavowal of scary-sounding substances is the bedrock of the modern dieting industry, the stubborn ubiquity of caffeine is curious.

So where is the caffeine backlash? Where are the adorable cafes that proudly label themselves as caffeine-free, with all the millennial-baiting accoutrements but minus the addictive stimulant? Where are the startups clamoring to sell the next cool decaf coffee brand? Where are the Instagram accounts documenting gorgeous, “natural,” caffeine-less lifestyles? People kick caffeine addictions all the time. But maybe the more difficult addiction to kick is the thing it represents.

Within the past decade or so, the US has become far more accommodating to people with all kinds of food sensitivities and diet regimens. Veganism has elevated itself from a relatively fringe ideology to so mainstream that one of the most famous burgers in the country is made out of wheat and potatoes. Dairy-free milk is now a $2 billion industry, with sales having risen 61 percent between 2012 and 2018 (there was even a much-fussed-over oat milk shortage in the summer of 2018). Despite the fact that less than 1 percent of people have celiac disease, in 2013 nearly a third of Americans said they were trying to avoid gluten thanks to the influence of marketing and diet trends.

Even chain restaurants are embracing restrictive diets: Chipotle recently began offering special bowls for adherents of keto, Paleo, and Whole30 diets, the last of which is so militant that it bans all forms of dairy, grains, sugar, alcohol, and legumes — but not coffee.

Meanwhile, the world has not gotten even remotely friendlier to the caffeine-intolerant. It can still be difficult to find a decaf option in coffee shops that aren’t one of the major chains, and caffeine labeling on products remains largely unregulated and incoherent.

The desire for a caffeine backlash is less of a demand — because as a person who can no longer tolerate caffeine, I do not actually want there to be decaf influencers, they sound insufferable — than a curiosity. Caffeine has all the elements required to spark a backlash in the year 2019: The vast majority of us regularly drink it, which is why removing it from one’s diet can demonstrate a monk-like ability to refuse indulgences (which is pretty much what all of wellness culture is based around).

And the benefits of eliminating caffeine are not exactly secret: Many people experience better sleep, fewer anxiety symptoms, less nausea, and higher energy. Sure, for most, cutting caffeine alone won’t change one’s overall life or health that much, but neither will most diets.

Most research today, however, shows that caffeine is basically fine, and might even be sort of good for you: Small studies have demonstrated that at low doses, or about as much caffeine in one or two cups of coffee, it improves alertness and mental performance, particularly in people who are tired; that it makes us more supportive in social situations and reduces the risk of workplace accidents. Though caffeine isn’t great for people on the anxious end of the spectrum, for tired folks or those who fall more on the depressive side, the effects can be positive.

Which is why talking about the “dangers of caffeine” can make one seem hilariously puritanical, and risks drawing comparisons to that one very dorky episode of Saved by the Bell where Jessie dramatically overdoses on caffeine pills. (The executive producer later said it was originally supposed to be speed, which would have made a lot more sense.)

Whether caffeine is or isn’t actually good for you isn’t actually the point. The point is that if the wild success of the largely pseudoscientific lifestyle brand Goop tells us anything, the rule goes that because caffeine sometimes has negative effects and isn’t tolerated by some people, by now, there should be a full-blown attack against Big Caffeine.

There isn’t.

I don’t actually blame the #DeathBeforeDecaf folks for their extreme dedication. I was one of them once, before a hastily guzzled single Starbucks Doubleshot Espresso preceded my first panic attack, an anxiety disorder, and an inability to drink caffeine without experiencing terrifying heart palpitations that lasts to this day.

Those first two things were very bad, obviously! But it was the latter whose life-altering effects were the most surprising: In the span of a few minutes, coffee went from the joyous, hot thing that got me through the days to a poison that everybody else was immune to.

#DeathBeforeDecaf, however, is not really about a love of coffee. An Instagram quote worshipping coffee demonstrates something more performative: that the poster is rising and grinding; they’re hustling; they’re putting their hair in a messy bun and handling it. They’re making Mondays their bitch. All of this may be perfectly true, but like everything else on Instagram, there is subtext: “I drink coffee because I am very, very busy.”

Busyness is a particularly desirable quality to have in 2019. There are now multiple names for it: Depending on how you feel, it’s either hustle culture or it’s “millennial burnout” or “workism.” In a recent New York Times piece, writer Erin Griffith described performative hustling as “obsessed with striving, relentlessly positive, devoid of humor, and — once you notice it — impossible to escape.”

The Atlantic’s Derek Thompson writes that social media has amplified the pressure to craft a successful image, and because a growing number of white-collar jobs produce invisible results (as opposed, to, say, construction), “today’s workers turn to social media to make manifest their accomplishments. Many of them spend hours crafting a separate reality of stress-free smiles, postcard vistas, and Edison-lightbulbed working spaces.” Also often present in such Instagram posts: coffee.

There might be a gloss of self-deprecation, e.g., “I literally can’t function without coffee,” but a coffee quote on Instagram is generally kind of a flex, one that implies that people are counting on you to be quick, sharp, and ready for anything. It’s less to do with the actual drink than the drug: It’s the caffeine that gives mommy her go-go juice, not the coffee. It’s not “death before tea,” it’s “death before decaf.”

In part, this might be why decaf is so maligned: It has all the bitterness and blandness of coffee and, crucially, none of the implications that the drinker is here to hustle. If decaf is for old folks at diners — a reputation that has some cause; many seniors are on medications that react poorly with caffeine — then caffeinated beverages are for the young, virile, and productive.

But there is an equally vocal subset of coffee drinkers who are actually here for the coffee yet despise decaf just as much: coffee snobs. Murray Carpenter, the author of the book Caffeinated: How Our Daily Habit Helps, Hurts, and Hooks Us, says the rise of the coffee snob is part of the relatively newish, generational interest in fancified versions of vices like craft beer and whiskey. “I’m in my mid-50s. We were drinking Budweiser; we didn’t have a million beers to choose from and if you went out to get coffee, it was probably Maxwell House. [Now] people are more interested in high-quality foods and beverages that are produced on a smaller scale in a way that they understand.”

For many snootier coffee drinkers, decaf barely counts as coffee at all. But Carpenter says that’s based on an outdated assumption: “Some of [decaf’s poor reputation] is a hangover from the fact that 20 or 30 years ago, people simply weren’t producing as much good coffee as they do now, and decaf was the less good version of that not very good coffee.” These days there are good decaf blends, although you probably won’t find them at Starbucks, or even your local cafe, or even maybe your grocery store. Why? It’s expensive.

This part gets a little science-y, because to decaffeinate coffee beans is to conduct a rather complicated chemical process. The short version is that the vast majority of decaf coffee is made from soaking still-green coffee beans in a solvent, typically methylene chloride or ethyl acetate. These are not particularly gentle chemicals; the former can be used as a paint stripper or degreaser; the latter is often found in nail polish removers, which furthers the reputation of decaf coffee as “less natural” or worse.

There are other ways to decaffeinate coffee, one of which involves blasting liquid carbon dioxide into coffee beans soaked in water, which then draws out the caffeine. But the “purest” way to decaffeinate coffee is the Swiss Water process, in which the only chemical used is H2O. The result in both cases: high-quality, albeit more expensive, decaf.

Guy Wilmot, a veteran coffee importer in West Sussex, England, began packaging and selling Swiss Water-treated coffee online in 2015 after developing a creeping intolerance to late-in-the-day caffeine and a lack of decent available options. His company, Decadent Decaf, has all the markings of a cool coffee brand: minimalist branding (Wilmot told his designer he didn’t want it to be “fuddy-duddy”) and smart marketing: With just a few hundred bucks a month spent on Google AdWords and Amazon, he’s managed to grow the company between 50 to 100 percent every year and made about a quarter-million pounds in online revenue in the last year.

But despite the high-quality product and the fact that it comes in cute containers, his customers aren’t artisanal coffeehouses (they say it’s too pricey), or cool young people. Like most decaf consumers, they’re older, usually at least 45 and up. This isn’t necessarily a problem for the business, but Wilmot still faces a stigma in the industry. “[Decaf] is a bit embarrassing in the coffee world,” he says. “When I do tastings at, say, the London Coffee Festival, you kind of fear the tattoo brigade going, ‘Oh, I’m not into that.’”

Wilmot is just as curious as I am why decaf hasn’t had its moment, though he does have a theory. “I think basically no one has done a good enough marketing job,” he says. “Look at teas: Herbal teas are rocketing. They’ve done a lot better job. I really think someone in America should do it. Make some money. Come on!”

He makes a solid point. The products that have gone the most viral in the past view years — CBD oil, vapes, gravity blankets, fidget spinners — almost exclusively exist to calm us down. Considering that fact, coffee minus the caffeine feels like a bizarre missed opportunity.

For a period of time in the mid-2000s, Dr. Richard Church was the caffeine guy. When CBS conducted a special on the dangers of “caffeine intoxication,” they brought on Church, who would explain that, no, chasing black-market Adderall with six Red Bulls and a No-Doz to cram for a test and then getting hammered on Four Loko on the weekends was not, in fact, healthy.

Church is an emergency toxicologist at the University of Massachusetts who treats cases of substance overdose — a toddler who accidentally drinks his dad’s cup of coffee, for instance. But he also has to respond to trends in marketing. While a decade ago, the public concern was focused on the dangers of overcaffeination, since then there’ve been newer young-person habits to worry about.

“Society moved on a little bit from [caffeinated beverages], and there are other, sexier things to get into,” he explains. “Vaping has become mainstream; marijuana has become super mainstream now that it’s legalized. It’s sort of like, ‘Why drink energy drinks when I can do one of these other fun things?’”

Vaping became explosively popular among teens because of massive marketing campaigns — so did Red Bull, for instance. Which means that for decaf to have its day, a company first needs to exploit the opportunity.

Remember when I complained about how there weren’t any cute caffeine-free coffee shops? That was sort of a lie. There was one. In 2015, Swiss Water, the company that patented the Swiss Water process and works with many different roasters, opened pop-up shop “experiences” in New York and Los Angeles called “The Art of Coffee Without Caffeine.” There were brewing and cupping demos, live music, and local art for sale, all in the goal to “introduce and remind New Yorkers to enjoy the coffee they love, just without the caffeine,” as the brand manager told NYU Local at the time.

It did not go great.

“Opening of all-decaf coffee shop in Manhattan met with horror, outrage,” declared the Washington Post. Gothamist called its banner product “fake coffee,” while Eater dubbed the pop-up “the first sign of the cultural apocalypse.” Jezebel went with, “Try Not to Scream: A Caffeine-Free Coffee Shop Has Just Opened.”

Needless to say, the pop-up did not become permanent. But despite negative reactions in the press and on social media, the company maintains it was overall a success for those who actually visited. Customers were, a spokesperson for Swiss Water wrote in a statement, “delighted to experience such delicious decaf and value learning more about both their options for great coffee without caffeine and the availability of our chemical free process.”

Unfortunately for Swiss Water, and for me, the culture has not dramatically reversed its opinion on decaf coffee within the last four years. There is, as of yet, no war against the amorphous threat to nobody known as Big Caffeine.

Which is fine! The reasons are clear: Decaf still faces an enormous stigma both within the coffee industry and out to the working moms on Instagram. It’s expensive to produce, and with the majority of Americans harboring at least somewhat of a caffeine addiction, it isn’t likely that we’ll be trading it in for the drugless version en masse anytime soon.

But I have to assume, and not just because I can no longer tolerate them, that the more negative aspects of caffeine’s effects — the anxiety, the racing heartbeat, the jitteriness, the nausea slowly curdling in your stomach — will for many people soon outweigh the good. Everything else that seems to happen in the world already gives us all of these things. And if it does, what use is caffeine anymore, really?

Drink decaf. I promise you: Death is much, much worse.

Ah, Paris. It’s one of those cities that is eternally special, and one I will never tire of visiting. Last year we were in Paris twice, in the spring and again in the summer, and for me, it was not my first visit. There is always something to explore, and even the old feels new each time you visit. I could write pages and pages on where to eat and what to see!

Stay

Our favorite place to stay when visiting as a family of four is the all-suite boutique hotel Goralska Résidences, conveniently located between the Marais and Bastille. Situated along the Seine, it’s a short walk from both the Metro and Gare de Lyon, and in a quiet neighborhood that makes you instantly feel like a local. The beautiful, modern apartments have fully equipped kitchens if you want to load up on groceries from the market. We love the Family Suite, which is enormous by Paris hotel standards.

On the other side of Paris, on the Champs-Elysées, is the Frasers Suites Le Claridge Champs-Elysées. Also roomy by Paris standards, the suites easily accomodate families and have room for everyone to spread out and also have kitchens. Very convenient to the Metro and with a Monoprix grocery store around the corner, its prime location on the Champs-Elysées doesn’t come without its drawbacks: street and shop noise. If you aren’t sensitive to noise, then this is a great option.

Eat & Drink

There’s so much to eat, it’s hard to taste it all in one trip. But that doesn’t mean you can’t try! Here are some of our favorites so far, categorized by neighborhood, or arrondissement. 

Various Locations

On the run? Pop into Paul for a quick sandwich or quiche to go. This French bakery chain is everywhere, but still a good, reliable spot, especially when you’re in a hurry at the train station.

1st Arrondissement

Start the day with a croissant at Sébastien Gaudard Pâtisserie. 1 Rue des Pyramides (additional location in 9th arrondissement)

3/4th Arrondissement (Le Marais)

When you need a break from indulgent French food, head to Kitchen for a vegetarian breakfast or lunch. 74 Rue des Gravilliers

Pain de Sucre for your ultimate patisserie fix. 14 Rue Rambuteau

Get in line at L’As du Fallafel for the best falafel in Paris! Order the special falafel topped with eggplant. 34 Rue des Rosiers

Tout Autour du Pain for award-winning baguettes and croissant. 134 Rue de Turenne, +33 1 42 78 04 72

Get a scoop of gelato at Pozzetto! 39 Rue du Roi de Sicile

A taste of Thai at Khao Thai Sévigné. Warm staff, everything we tasted was delicious. Try the Ho-Mok-Tha-Lay, seafood curry served in a coconut. 10 Rue de Sévigné 75004

Brunch at Crêperie Elo Bastille for utterly delicious sweet and savory crêpes! 7 Rue Saint-Antoine 75004 Paris

Wander the Marché des Enfant Rouge, Paris’ oldest covered food market. Named for the red clothing worn by the children of the 16th-century orphanage that used to occupy the site, it’s small but bursting with food and flower stalls, as well as eateries

Pierre Hermé for macarons (they are my personal favorite, over Laduree, though I can’t pass those up, either) and their signature Ispahan (my hubby’s favorite!). (multiple locations)

Pop into Popellini for their delightful cream puffs! The salted caramel is divine. (multiple locations)

Grab a scoop of the famous ice cream or sorbet at Berthillon!

If you’re in France, you must have an eclair, especially one from L’ Eclair de Génie – 14 rue Pavée (various locations)

Don’t miss the exquisite Middle-Eastern inspired sweets at Maison Aleph! 20 Rue de la Verrerie

5th Arrondissement

Kitchen Terre for innovative Asian and French fusion in St. Germain. 26 boulevard St-Germain

Aux Merveilleux de Fred for hot brioche. 2 Rue Monge (multiple locations)

6th Arrondissement

Duck into Freddy’s for tapas style bites and a glass of wine. This tiny spot is such a gem, and you will be amazed at its tiny kitchen and how they are cranking out incredible food! 54 Rue de Seine

Next door to Freddy’s is Semilla, their upscale sister restaurant. 54 rue de Seine

Popellini is across the street from Freddy’s and Semilla — buy some cream puffs to go before you head in for dinner so that you will have dessert to bring home! (multiple locations)

7th Arrondissement

Dong Phat for a taste of Vietnam! We would head here whenever we were craving pho and noodles! Also, their spring rolls are out of this world. 10 rue Malar

8th Arrondissement

For upscale brasserie-inspired food, consider Brasserie d’Aumont located in the beautiful Hotel de Crillon. Perfect for a very special occasion.

Pop in for a pastry or two at Pâtisserie Boulangerie Boris Lume. 48 Rue Caulaincourt

Sweet and savory crepes, along with some delicious vegetarian options are great at Framboise. 7 rue de Ponthieu (various locations)

11th Arrondissement

Clown Bar is the spot for innovative and delicious bites! 114 Rue Amelot

9th Arrondissement

Italian food in Paris? Oui, and at Pink Mamma it’s delicious and worth the wait you will likely encounter. The whole restaurant is adorable, but the top floor is especially charming and Instagram worthy. 20bis, Rue de Douai

If you’re lucky to get reservations at Septime, definitely go!

Find something sweet at Sébastien Gaudard Pâtisserie. 22, rue des Martyr

See & Do

Be prepared to walk and climb. There’s something about Paris that makes every climb to each tower worth the views of this beautiful city!

Stroll the Champs-Elysées, and finish with a climb to the top of Arc de Triomphe for one of my favorite views of Paris.

Shop at kitchen supply heaven at E.Dehillerin. 18-20 Rue Coquillière, 75001

Climb to the top of Notre Dame. It is well worth it. Go first thing in the morning, and avoid the cue using the JeFile App! Tip: check in on JeFile from your hotel as you enjoy breakfast to make sure you secure a spot!

Footsteps away from Notre Dame is Sainte Chapelle – a gem and truly awe-inspiring stained glass. If you have time, enjoy a classical concert at La Sainte Chappelle!

Wander the side streets of Montmartre as you head to Basilique du Sacre Coeur for a view of Paris. It can get a little touristy the closer you get to the basilica, but it’s still fun.

Visit the Eiffel Tower, ideally at night, when it is dazzlingly lit against the Paris night sky. Tip: If you choose to go to the top, book early, and heading to Level 2 for the best views. Yes, there is a level 3, but from that high, it’s hard to appreciate what you see below so if you’re short on time, definitely skip it.

Wander the many, many museums. The Louvre, of course, is famous, but don’t miss Musée d’Orsay across the way, the Centre Pompidou, and countless others for art and design. Military and history buffs will appreciate the Army Museum and Napoleon’s Tomb.

You won’t encounter lines at The Pantheon, so if you’re nearby, definitely duck in for a visit!

Stroll along the Seine and the bouquinistes, the used booksellers of Paris, and one of the largest open-air book market in the world!

Close to the Eiffel Tower, take some time to stroll down Rue Cler, one of the more popular markets for strolling, dining, and people watching.

Enjoy an espresso at a cafe and people watch. Cafe culture is very French!

Escape the sidewalks for a bit and stroll the lovely gardens. You can find a stretch of peace and relaxation at Jardin de Tuileries and Jardin de Luxembourg.

Explore the charming towns outside of Paris! A short train ride away, Giverny is popular for Monet lovers. We also explored the charming town of Chartres when they hosted a stage of the Tour de France.

Spend the day at Château of Versailles. Picnic in the gardens and take time to stroll – it’s massive!

If you have little ones or are Disney obsessed, consider an easy side trip to Disneyland Paris for a little Disney magic. If you need help deciding or are short on time, let me just say that if you have already been to other Disney locations, go ahead and skip this — I personally feel that this is one of the weaker Disney properties.

Dome of Napoleon’s Tomb.

The Markets of Paris

Paris is always in bloom.

Paris in springtime is always sweet!

The charming Pink Mamma restaurant.

You can’t leave Paris without having an eclair.

Frenchie!

Quiche is good on the go!

The charming streets of Montmartre.

Rest under Sacre Coeur.

Fresh seafood

Sorbet from Berthillon

Cream puffs from Popellini

Charming town of Chartres.

View from Notre Dame

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If you had talked to me two weeks or so ago, I would have told you that this has been my favorite trimester of pregnancy by far. I felt good physically and emotionally; it was fun to feel pregnant pregnant—big belly, slight waddle, and all, and my due date seemed to be right around the corner! Having a baby boy was so real in the best way. Daniel and I started making a concerted effort to do all of our favorite things as often as possible.

We went to see a dozen movies in the theater, slept in, went out for brunches, lunches, and dinners, and then…

Oh boy.

Then I reached 38 weeks, and the discomfort hit me like a ton of bricks. My back throbbed constantly, my feet swelled and ached (even first thing in the morning), and my pelvis felt sore and heavy. All throughout my third trimester, I’d experienced painful round ligament pain, but whereas before I was able to tolerate it, now those stabbing zings would stop me in my tracks, take my breath away. I began to feel the infamous zaps of lightning crotch and the crazy cramping sensation of baby kicking me in the ribs. I started having to pee even more frequently and urgently, which would have seemed absolutely impossible to me before, but here I am, running to the bathroom every five minutes—sometimes leaving the bathroom only to run back in.

The other challenge of these final weeks is that I’ve finally come to understand the women who talk about feeling moody and all over the place emotionally during pregnancy. In the past two or three weeks, I’ve had many moments where I’m just terribly upset over nothing and everything all at once. I’ve felt inexplicably grumpy, weepy, and full of anxiety—just out of the blue. And while in the moment I may be able to rattle off a list of things that are making me anxious and upset, I also realize that they aren’t typically the types of things that would make me break down crying. Case in point: I’ve had this insane panicky feeling for the past few weeks about how frequently I should be cleaning my house because we’ll never be able to know exactly WHEN the baby will arrive. Suffice it to say, the house is spotless (I’m talking windows have been washed, baseboards scrubbed, garage swept, car detailed…). These emotional swings make me all the more grateful for Daniel, who is as patient as they come. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been an absolute nightmare and he has responded with nothing but love and understanding, saying, “I’m so sorry that you have to feel all of this.”

And yet, all the discomfort is so small and insignificant compared to the wild, overwhelming, all-encompassing love I’ve begun to feel for my baby boy. Every night for the past few months, I go into his room, sit in the glider, and rock, just the two of us. I sing to him. I tell him I love him a million times. I tell him how much I adore and cherish his dad, tell him what an amazing man he his, and how he made my whole life complete, all the while knowing I won’t have to convince him of how great his dad is—he’ll find out on his own soon enough. I’ve loved my baby boy since the first positive pregnancy test, but this current sensation of love is so much bigger and more intense than it was before. I think about my son and I’m instantly overcome. I can’t wait to meet him. I can’t wait to hug him, kiss him, and make him feel so secure and cherished.

even my new pajamas are giving up

Weight Gain

From our first appointment at 6 weeks to now (40 weeks), I’ve gained 50 pounds. Honestly, I’ve shocked even myself at how completely at peace I am with this number. It’ll come off eventually (or maybe it won’t! ha!) but either way, my body has grown a healthy baby boy and the journey was undoubtedly worth every pound.

fell in love with Indian food

Cravings: blueberry pancakes, Indian food, eggplant, burgers
Aversions: none

My Baby Shower

Back in June, my mom threw me an absolutely adorable animal-themed baby shower brunch. Every last detail—from the place settings to the cake—was perfect, and the whole day made Daniel and me feel so loved and cared for by our family and friends. This little boy is so lucky already!

As of today (September 4, 2018), I’m 40 weeks and 3 days pregnant! He should be here any day now